MY FAITH JOURNEY

I was born into a Christian home with a strong conservative faith. Our Presbyterian Church was the Presbyterian Church USA as it existed after a merger with the original Cumberland Presbyterian. This was after the split which occurred at the time of the Civil War when most Presbyterian Churches in the South withdrew and formed the Presbyterian Church US. (Called the Southern Presbyterian Church) My family was ecumenical in the sense that they worked for the healing of the split Presbyterian churches. When I was about nine years old the block where our church was located in Meridian MS was taken over by the Postal Service for the building of a new post office. From the sale of the property our church realized money to relocate. Realizing that there was another church needing help, a federation of the two churches was negotiated which resulted eventually in what was called the Federated Presbyterian Church, with a new location, a new building, and the pastor of the old Second Presbyterian Church.

With this background I was committed to work for cooperation and union of churches instead of letting minor differences separate Christians. As a youth I believed that every word of the Bible was literally true. All kinds of work on Sundays were a violation of the commandments, for example. Sundays were for worship, rest, and service to God and others. It was a black and white world. An action was either right or wrong. People were either good or bad. This understanding led me to believe that there was only one way to live as a Christian. This caused me to be  judgmental of others who differed in their beliefs and actions.

I cannot remember a time when I did not believe in God. God was a powerful, loving being up in Heaven whom we could pray to and believing that he would answer our prayers with either a “yes” or a “no”. He was the great judge to whom we are accountable for our conduct. God loved good people more than bad people. We could win God’s favor by repenting of our sins and confessing him as Lord and Savior through His son Jesus Christ. I was baptized as an infant and “joined the church” when I was nine, accepting Christ as my Savior. After that I struggled to live a good life but still found myself doing things I understood to be bad or sinful. One year when we had an evangelist holding a revival meet in our church, I was so filled with guilt that I responded to an alter call for repentance. This was a very traumatic experience, but did not significantly change my conduct. Whatever I did that I considered evil was done in secret. My greatest fear was that I would displease my parents and God and they would not accept me as I was. I wanted to be perfect, but failed miserably. I was very much an introvert and would not open my life to others. I did not participate in sports since I could not take criticism. I had a bad inferiority complex.

At a time when I really needed it I found unusual support which helped to change my life. It was not in the church, but in the business world. It happened about the time I graduated from High School. One day I was in the local J. C. Penney Store buying some clothes when the clerk serving me (later I found out that he was the Second Assistant Manager) asked me, “Did you ever consider working for J. C. Penney?” My response which was not exactly true was “Yes”. He then said to me, “Why don’t you see Mr. Coleman, our Assistant Manager, and tell him you want a job.” I followed through and was given a part time job as clerk on Saturdays. This was a stepping stone that changed the direction of my life and was one of the most affirming experiences of my life. The manager of the store, Mr. Dan Thornton, gave me every opportunity to succeed. He had a unique way of guiding me into a successful experience. He was always encouraging to me when I needed it. After completing two years of college in the local junior college while working part time at J. C. Penney’s, I announced that I wanted to go to college at Maryville College in the fall. Mr. Thornton accepted my decision and responded, “I was hoping to make a J. C. Penney man out of you.” For the next year I worked at J. C. Penney when I came home on Christmas break. I had hoped just to work until Christmas, but Mr. Thornton said to me, “You are going to help us take inventory aren’t you?” My response was “Yes”. I could use the time I had left at home returning a favor to Mr. Thornton for what he had done for me. This was a big stepping stone in my life.

My experience at Maryville College was another life-changing experience. I began to see how narrow I had been I found dedicated faculty members and fellow students who had broadened my understanding of life and particularly my Christian journey. There I gained a greater appreciation for traditional hymns of the church and the Reformed tradition of worship.

After three years of college I enlisted in the Army in World War II. During that experience I met the challenge of finding my own faith without the restrictions of the faith of my parents and family. I don’t remember ever doubting that there was a wise and good God guiding me and prayed that God would show me the direction my life should go. I recall going out by myself and falling on my knees and asking God to reveal his will for my life. When I looked up and opened my eyes I saw a light sweep across the sky. At first I wondered if it was a light from God just for me, but then I realized it was not a special light for me, but a beacon light guiding planes to a landing strip. I kept praying for a vision, but never experienced the kind of vision that I had hoped for. On the other hand I could not get out of my heart the conviction that God had a special calling for me. This feeling was strengthened by an accident that could have been fatal for me. After that experience I was convinced that God had saved me for a special purpose in His service. When the war ended I was in a convalescent hospital recovering my injuries, waiting to be discharged. At that time I decided that if I was discharged in time to continue my education in the new semester, I would accept that as a call to study for the ministry. When I was discharged at the right time I went back to college, changed my major from economics to sociology looking forward to entering seminary after I received my BA degree.

By far the biggest step in my faith was my marriage to Margaret. We were attracted to each other by our common faith and our common aims in life, our dedication to serving God in the Christian ministry. We were both enrolled in Seminary when we met. I soon discovered that our Christian heritage, although we were both Presbyterian, my theology was more conservative than hers. As we grew together in our love, my faith moved to a more open and broader faith. I moved from a literal interpretation of the Scriptures to a belief that the message could be true without being literally factual in every detail. The Bible is full of stories that proclaim the truth which may or may not be factual in every detail. For instance, the parables of Jesus, I believe were stories to illustrate a truth, not accounts of actual happening.

I believe that God is a God of grace, not wishing that anyone should perish. "---God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 (NIV) "And I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 38-39(NIV.) We were in the hands of God throughout the past, the present, and will be throughout eternity.